Stand for something, or fall for anything
I need to figure out what I stand for. I have seriously lost my identity over the last two years. I have experienced significant loss and I'm not sure how to go about putting myself back together again.
I lost all my properties, I lost my business, I lost my job(s), I lost many of my friends; but worse of all, I lost who I thought I was, I lost my ability to dream big and to have a positive outlook in life.
In the past, I suffered from depression and it wasn't related to money. I was rich back then. I remember having closed on one of my houses a few years ago. I went to the bank to make a deposit. Since I had several CD, MMA, and Checking accounts, I asked for an accounts summary report. I was feeling really down at the time. I remember driving home with tears in my eyes because I had an account balance of $265,000, and yet I was so unhappy. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me.
Fast forward to this last year. Pretty much all my material possessions are gone. As unfortunate as it is I, like most people associate my identity with my possessions. I have been trying really had to overcome that. It would be great to have stuff again, but it really isn't my main priority anymore.
I need to find a job that pays the bills so that we can move out to our own apartment. I think now my real struggle is spiritual. I am trying to figure out who I am as a person, not as a person with stuff.
A friend recommended I read/listen to Eckhart Tolle to change the way I see the world. I listed to about an hour of his stuff on YouTube, I also bought the book (which I didn't read). While the guy is interesting and makes compelling arguments, I don't think I'm ready to view the world the way he does.
Another friend recommended I listen to Joel Osteen. This guy is pretty good, he makes a lot of sense in the things he says. My problem with him is that he portraits himself, and his followers see him as a spiritual leader. The guy is a pastor, but he offers a watered down gospel that focus more on having things than anything else. I would say his sermons are like Snapple drinks. They contain only 5 - 10% juice.
I may have to keep looking, but I'm not sure where, because I also have a problem with the traditional Christian establishment. I want to figure out what I am really all about. I want to be able to say I stand for something. But right now I'm what I can not to fall for anything.
I lost all my properties, I lost my business, I lost my job(s), I lost many of my friends; but worse of all, I lost who I thought I was, I lost my ability to dream big and to have a positive outlook in life.
In the past, I suffered from depression and it wasn't related to money. I was rich back then. I remember having closed on one of my houses a few years ago. I went to the bank to make a deposit. Since I had several CD, MMA, and Checking accounts, I asked for an accounts summary report. I was feeling really down at the time. I remember driving home with tears in my eyes because I had an account balance of $265,000, and yet I was so unhappy. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me.
Fast forward to this last year. Pretty much all my material possessions are gone. As unfortunate as it is I, like most people associate my identity with my possessions. I have been trying really had to overcome that. It would be great to have stuff again, but it really isn't my main priority anymore.
I need to find a job that pays the bills so that we can move out to our own apartment. I think now my real struggle is spiritual. I am trying to figure out who I am as a person, not as a person with stuff.
A friend recommended I read/listen to Eckhart Tolle to change the way I see the world. I listed to about an hour of his stuff on YouTube, I also bought the book (which I didn't read). While the guy is interesting and makes compelling arguments, I don't think I'm ready to view the world the way he does.
Another friend recommended I listen to Joel Osteen. This guy is pretty good, he makes a lot of sense in the things he says. My problem with him is that he portraits himself, and his followers see him as a spiritual leader. The guy is a pastor, but he offers a watered down gospel that focus more on having things than anything else. I would say his sermons are like Snapple drinks. They contain only 5 - 10% juice.
I may have to keep looking, but I'm not sure where, because I also have a problem with the traditional Christian establishment. I want to figure out what I am really all about. I want to be able to say I stand for something. But right now I'm what I can not to fall for anything.
Labels: life, religion, spirituality
posted by henry siteber at 1:09 PM
1 Comments:
Try I Tunes and go to podcasts and find Chip Ingram. Now there is something to life you up.
I too feel the same, true friends stand by you no matter what, the rest are only acquantanaces. You can be sure, you can count in your lifetime you may have 5 people you can consider a real friend.
Keep hanging in there. Things are bound to turn around.
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