The Best Is Yet To Come!

Sad Conclusion

2009-09-06T12:10:00.000-07:00

One of the things I was excited about when I made the decision to move back to the New York area, was the idea of being close to my old friends and family. I've been here for over a year now, and a lot has happened. I lost my job over eight months ago and have come to a sad conclusion.
It's easy having lots of friends when you are doing well. Everybody is excited to hear from you. Everybody wants to see you, everybody wants to get together. Everybody loves you.
But, when things are bad, everybody turns their backs on you. I have learned that I have acquaintances from the past, but I really have no friends. I know that things happen and people have busy lives and families. I also know that a real friend would invite you to their place to just have fun reminiscing on old times. A friend would call you to see how you are doing, maybe just send you an email to say hi. I have gotten none of those gestures.
My friends were always very important to me. I have gone out of my way to help friends many, many times. Maybe I'm asking for too much when I ask that some of them be there for me. I have been feeling really down lately, and coming to this realization has made matters worse for me.
I wonder what having a dozen "close friends" who don't even offer kind words of support, says about me. There are all these people out there and I am the common denominator. So I have to conclude that the problem is not them, but me.
Was I mistaken when I thought I had friends? have people just changed over the years? Is there something about me that repels people?
I guess from now on I can only count on myself.

Stand for something, or fall for anything

2009-08-15T13:09:00.000-07:00

I need to figure out what I stand for. I have seriously lost my identity over the last two years. I have experienced significant loss and I'm not sure how to go about putting myself back together again.
I lost all my properties, I lost my business, I lost my job(s), I lost many of my friends; but worse of all, I lost who I thought I was, I lost my ability to dream big and to have a positive outlook in life.
In the past, I suffered from depression and it wasn't related to money. I was rich back then. I remember having closed on one of my houses a few years ago. I went to the bank to make a deposit. Since I had several CD, MMA, and Checking accounts, I asked for an accounts summary report. I was feeling really down at the time. I remember driving home with tears in my eyes because I had an account balance of $265,000, and yet I was so unhappy. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me.
Fast forward to this last year. Pretty much all my material possessions are gone. As unfortunate as it is I, like most people associate my identity with my possessions. I have been trying really had to overcome that. It would be great to have stuff again, but it really isn't my main priority anymore.
I need to find a job that pays the bills so that we can move out to our own apartment. I think now my real struggle is spiritual. I am trying to figure out who I am as a person, not as a person with stuff.
A friend recommended I read/listen to Eckhart Tolle to change the way I see the world. I listed to about an hour of his stuff on YouTube, I also bought the book (which I didn't read). While the guy is interesting and makes compelling arguments, I don't think I'm ready to view the world the way he does.
Another friend recommended I listen to Joel Osteen. This guy is pretty good, he makes a lot of sense in the things he says. My problem with him is that he portraits himself, and his followers see him as a spiritual leader. The guy is a pastor, but he offers a watered down gospel that focus more on having things than anything else. I would say his sermons are like Snapple drinks. They contain only 5 - 10% juice.
I may have to keep looking, but I'm not sure where, because I also have a problem with the traditional Christian establishment. I want to figure out what I am really all about. I want to be able to say I stand for something. But right now I'm what I can not to fall for anything.

I have not seen my best days yet

2009-08-11T14:35:00.000-07:00

I will live my life with purpose.
I will run my life like a profitable business
I will make a difference in peoples lives
I will make myself and my family proud
I will be diligent and dutiful in the things that need to get done
I will focus and if I fall, I will get up and keep on going
I will have spirituality in my life
I will look at what is ahead instead of what I left behind
I will be thankful for all the great things in my life
I will have goals, visions, plans, dream, projects
I will be successful intentionally, not accidentally

What a mess

2009-08-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

I have so much in my mind, that I don't know where to begin. I abandoned this blog and now feel the need to write on it again. None of the people who used to read my posts ever come here anymore, and that is fine. I am on Facebook, but it just isn't the same there. It's so superficial. If it wasn't for the couple of people I get to talk to every once in a while, I wouldn't log in there.
Anyways, I have so much to say and so little energy to say it. Maybe I should just list the things that are on my mind and then elaborate on them. I feel so alone in my problems, I can't talk to my wife or family about them because they just don't understand. I need to do something cathartic, and I hope this is it.
problem 1: haven't found a job in over 7 months.
problem 2: don't have a place of my own to live in
problem 3: I am depressed about everything
problem 4: I feel I have lost all my friends
problem 5: I'm worried about my wife and her job
problem 6: I'm afraid of my wife getting sick again
problem 7: I'm worried about my daughter's health
problem 8: I'm tired of feeling useless
problem 9: I'm have lost my selfesteem
problem 10: I don't know what to do about my sleep
problem 11: I am hate feeling that no one respects me
problem 12: I can't stay focused enough to find out what i really want to do with my life
problem 13: I can't stop feeling guilty for what my family is going through
problem 14: I feel like I've lost all my friends and nobody wants to be around me
problem 15: I no longer have dreams or a plan of action

I'm going to China

2007-01-11T15:47:00.000-08:00

Last year I decided I wanted to go to China. Yesterday I booked the trip for the spring. I can't wait to be out of my comfort zone for 13 days.
My wife and I will be in Beijing for several days. Then we fly to Xi'an for a couple of days. From there we'll fly to Shanghai for more time and visit a couple of towns nearby such as Suzhou.
I'm glad I'm not an impulse buyer because I was tempted to go for an african safari. The package looked great, but I was worried about food and the fact that there was hiking involved. Maybe when I get fit I will reconsider.
The thing I'm not looking forward to on this trip, is the 13 hour non-stop flight from Los Angeles. Paris to Las Vegas was a bitch, but I'm not sure what to think about this one.
On another note, Las Vegas is getting ready to experience what we consider Arctic conditions. It could get down to the 30's in the next few days. So much for the wonderful Mohave Desert.

A Dork Is Born

2006-08-30T16:43:00.000-07:00

For the past two or three years my distance vision has been deteriorating, but amazingly enough I couldn't really tell until the past couple of months.
Because I work from home and never drive out of my vecinities, I got used getting around with no problems. Then recently on a trip to San Diego I realized that I couldn't drive because I didn't have any landmarks as points of reference to get to places. I could only read the freeway signs as we were passing them, not before.
Today, I went to the eye doctor and was told that not only do I need glasses because I couldn't read the top two rows of letters, but that I have to go to a specialist because I have large muscles in my eyes. Those large muscles are indicators that I may have or will have glaucoma in the future. Am i worried? a little.
I will look like a dork wearing glasses, but it will be fun to be able to see again. Who knows, maybe I will look smart.

Instant Karma

2006-08-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

Today I went to Trader Joe's to get some milk and pasta. When navigating my way out of the shopping center's parking lot, a black guy in a Vespa cut me off on the left side. For no reason what-so-ever, this guy keeps driving and turns his head to look back at me with a defiant face.
This guy has just come out of nowhere and I haven't done anything to him for him to try to intimidate me with his "bike". My reaction was to just keep driving at parking lot acceptable speed, and say to myself "what is this dumbass looking at".
By now, the guy is looking ahead and is approaching the curve to exit the parking lot. He made a sharp turn and lost control of the Vespa and in the blink of an eye he was hitting the pavement with his right shoulder and head.
I must admit that for a second or two I grinned as I stopped and saw him on the ground. I then opened my door and yelled out asking him if he was okay. He didn't respond but i knew he was moving. I decided to walk towards him, but my gut told me to get the key off the ignition in case it was a setup. I went over and got the Vespa off of him and asked him if he was alright.
When he got up he asked me to push his shoulder back in place, which I reluctantly did. I suggested he takes it easy and not make sharp turns like that. He thank me and I got back in my car.
I drove off with the elated feeling that Karma had done it's job.

Crappy Friday

2006-08-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

I usually look forward to fridays. It's not because I don't have to work the next day, historically they have been stress-free days for me.
Today however, has been crappy, shitty, sucky, etc and it's only 1:30 PM. Due to my back pain I have been working with my laptop from the couch for the past couple of weeks. In the past I used to say: I wouldn't know how I would live if I didn't have internet. Then I moved up and said: I don't know how I would live if I didn't have high-speed internet. Now I say: I don't know how I would live if I didn't have wireless high-speed internet.
I've had my trusty Netgear router for a couple of years now and it looks like it's usability has come to an end. I've lost my connection a million times today.
I decided that instead of wasting the day away trying to figure out what is wrong with it, I may as well just go buy a new one. I got my keys and got in my SUV. Before i turn on the ignition I felt something wasn't right, so I got out and looked at my rear tire. FLAT. I said to myself, no problem. I got the jack out and started changing the tire. when I went under the car to remove the spare tire, FLAT. Now I have two flat tires and no way to get them fixed until the wife comes home.
I was pissed, but no sweat. So I decided to go to the mailbox and get the mail. What do i get, bills including a big hospital bill for my accident.
The bottom line is this: when things get bad, don't sweat it too much because they can always get worse and worse. Not only that, there are people having an even worse time than you right now, like my faher-in-law. He just found out his cancer has spread and he thinks he doesn't have much time left alive.

Starting Over

2006-08-17T11:12:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I was involved in a multiple car accident. I am lucky to be alive. I was traveling on the freeway at about 80 MPH on the fast lane when suddenly my SUV started vibrating. I couldn't hit the breaks because there were cars coming behind me. The was a lound noise and I realized I had a blown rear tire. At that poing my car started traveling out of control. I tried to keep in the the lane, but driving on three wheels proved impossible. If I let the car go I would have hit traffic on my right side, and if I tried to compensate, I would have hit the medium wall that devides the two way traffic.
Suddenly, the car lost complete control and I ended up doing a 360 degree turn in the middle of the freeway. Some cars where able to change lanes on time but others couldn't. I ended up facing cars coming towards me and hitting me on the driver side doors. The impact was so strong that I was pushed about 75 feet into an exit wall on the right side of the freeway.
I escaped through the passanger side window and was rushed to the hospital. Luckly, I was in a lot of pain, but otherwise fine. No broken bones. I was released in no time.
I loved my Toyota 4Runner. So I went and bought another one.
Here are the old and the new one.

Moving?

2006-08-10T11:07:00.000-07:00

So, there is a slight probability that we will be moving to Houston within the next year. I welcome that possibility since I already gave Las Vegas a shot and after 7 years have failed to truly make it my home.
I came here for the money, but now real estate is flat and like any other investor, I have ran out of passion. I would be an ingrate if I said the past 7 years have sucked because I have lead a really good financial life that would have been impossible had I stayed in New York.
If it was up to me, I would move back east, but not to NY or NJ. I would consider PA or SC. The thing is that Houston has good cancer treatment centers and the in-laws are planning on relocating there because of it.
I've checked out Craigslist and it doesn't seem too bad, except for the traffic, humidity and low level of education of some of the residents. I'm beginning to understand why they call middle america The Heartland. It's because the brain ain't there.
I've spent sometime looking at real estate there and it amazes me that I can get a palacial mc.mansion there with 6 bedrooms, 3 living rooms, gym, theater room, 3 car garage, study, etc. All for about $400K. Something like that in Vegas goes for around $1.5 Mil.
It looks like we'll be making a trip to Houston to take a lookie lookie.

alive

2006-08-04T11:31:00.000-07:00

En Cuatro ... Ponteme En Cuatro

2006-06-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

A peticion de Odiseas

Cuatro de mis comidas favoritas

Seafood: Cajun Style King Crabs
Dominican: Mangu con cebolla frita y Huevo, Queso Y Aguacate
Italian: My garlic, black olive and tomato rigatoni.
American: Broiled salmon with sparagus and orzo salad.

Cuatro sitios Web que visito a diario

Several Blogs
Woot
Wiki-how
Businessweek

Cuatro sitios donde quisiera estar ahora

Fishing off the coast of Maine (10 days to go)
Horseback riding in the Belize rainforest (If not next year, the following)
In Beijing on my way to the Great Wall (next year)
At the San Diego Zoo and Seaworld (in 6 weeks)

Cuatro trabajos que me gustaría tener

Successful busines owner
Famous actor
Philanthropist
Travel photographer

Cuatro platos que detesto

Animal Organs
Enchiladas
Anything with Wasabi already on it
Veal

Cuatro bebidas favoritas

Scotch & Club Soda
Captain Morgan with Coke
Agua de coco fria
Jugo de Tamarido

Cuatro cosas que me encanta hacer

Hablar con amigos
Travel
Play with my daughter
Sleep late

Cuatro cosas que colecciono

Music
Religious books from the 1700's
Travel memorabilia
Trivia and business books

Cuatro canciones favoritas

Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns & Roses
I've got to see you again - Nora Jones
Under my skin - Frank Sinatra
Esto es el amor - Leonardo Favio

Great Adventure 2006

2006-06-13T13:48:00.000-07:00

On June 29th I'm catching an overnight flight out to NY. When I get there I will meet up with a couple of guys (my best friend included) and will head out upstate for a day of Paintball shooting.

We'll then hang out and go to bed early because we have to hit the road on a 7 hour trip to Maine. We have to be at the trail by 1oAM. after a day of hiking, we will head South. and again hang out but this time will be in a small town of of New Hamphire because that the only place we could find lodging for the night. We will have to get up at about 4:30 to go back to Maine and go deep sea fishing for the day.

One of the coolest things about this fishing trip is that we will be in 300ft deep waters where it's not uncommon to see whales, dolphins and seals and if you are lucky you can even catch sharks.
When we get back to land, we will eat some of the world famous Maine lobster before heading back south to Conneticut where we will meet up with some more friends where we'll do some drinking and hanging out.
We'll then head back to New York to get some much needed sleep. We will then get ready to hit the town and meet up with other old friends (old co-workers) and do some sushi and drinks.
The next day is July 4th. So we will take it easy and maybe visit an old high school friend and his wife in New Jersey before visiting my sisters for a couple of hours and Taking the red eye flight back to Las Vegas.

Not bad for a 5 day holiday weekend.

If it rains, we are screwed and have to change plans which will most likely be a few movies and billiards.

My next post will be about my 2007 vacation to China.

In Memory of Rene

2006-05-08T15:15:00.000-07:00

La semana pasada mi amiga de New York me informo que Rene habia muerto. El tenia cancer de una pierna. La perdida de alguien quien conosco siempre me afecta mucho. Me hace confrontar mi propia mortalidad y la de mis seres queridos.
Rene era un professor de literatura y Portugues. El era Cubano. El era gay. pero mas importante, el era una muy buena persona. Era muy organizado, muy creativo, y muy solo. Cuando se enfermo, mi amiga se encargo de cuidarlo ya que el no tenia familia.
Hace unos diez anios fuimos a visitarlo a su apartamento. Puedo describir el lugar con un Wow!!. El lugar era espectacular. Pero lo mas increible de todo fue que casi todo lo que habia alli habia sido rescatado de la basura.
Ademas de literatura, la gran pasion de Rene era la basura. El salia de noche a caminar el dia antes de que el camion recojedor pasara. El buscaba en las bolsas y cajas de personas en varios continentes. Su apartamento tenia tesoros encontrados en diferentes cuidades de los Estados Unidos, Brazil, Portugal, Espania y Francia, entre otros. Algunos de esos tesoros tenian valor.
Mi suegro tambien esta sufriendo de cancer de una pierna. Su pronostico no es muy bueno. Es posible que le queden seis meses, como es posible que le queden cinco anios. Al contrario de Rene, el tiene familia, pero no tiene pasion por nada. Al contrario de Rene, el es multi millonario y muy apegado a su dinero.
Al igual que Rene y todos nosotros, su fecha llegara y tendra que dejar todo lo material atras.

I don't need your civil war

2006-04-24T13:24:00.000-07:00

He sido on gran fan de Guns & Roses desde que estaba en high school a principio de los 90's. Tengo todos sus CD's, Tapes, y music videos. De todas, mi favorita simpre ha sido Sweet Child O' Mine.
Hoy estuve escuchando mi iTunes y descubri que hay muchas canciones que he oido un millon de veces pero que nunca las habia escuchado de verdad. Mientras escuchava Civil War finalmente me di cuenta de lo fuerte que es esta cancion.
A persar de que tiene unos 15 anios de haber sido escrita aplica mucho a lo que estamos viviendo hoy en dia.
Aqui estan las letras.
====================

Look at your young men fighting
Look at your women crying
Look at your young men dying
The way they've always done before

Look at the hate we're breeding
Look at the fear we're feeding
Look at the lives we're leading
The way we've always done before

My hands are tied
The billions shift from side to side
And the wars go on with brainwashed pride
For the love of God and our human rights
And all these things are swept aside
By bloody hands time can't deny
And are washed away by your genocide
And history hides the lies of our civil wars

D'you wear a black armband
When they shot the man
Who said "Peace could last forever"
And in my first memories
They shot Kennedy
I went numb when I learned to see
So I never fell for Vietnam
We got the wall of D.C. to remind us all
That you can't trust freedom
When it's not in your hands
When everybody's fightin'
For their promised land

And
I don't need your civil war
It feeds the rich while it buries the poor
You're power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
I don't need your civil war

Look at the shoes you're filling
Look at the blood we're spilling
Look at the world we're killing
The way we've always done before
Look in the doubt we've wallowed
Look at the leaders we've followed
Look at the lies we've swallowed
And I don't want to hear no more

My hands are tied
For all I've seen has changed my mind
But still the wars go on as the years go by
With no love of God or our human rights
and all these dreams are swept aside
By bloody hands of the hypnotized
Who carry the cross of homicide
And history bears the scars of our civil wars

We practice selective annihilation
Of mayors and government officials
For example to create a vacuum
Then we fill that vacuum
As popular war advances
Peace is closer

I don't need your civil war
It feeds the rich while it buries the poor
You're power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
And I don't need your civil war
I don't need your civil war
I don't need your civil war
You're power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
I don't need your civil war
I don't need one more war

I don't need one more war
Whaz so civil 'bout war anyway?

Soy Aries y Escorpio

2006-04-18T13:50:00.000-07:00

Hace mas de veinte anios un importante componente de mi identidad me fue robado. Cuanto estaban preparando mis papeles de visa para viajar para the US, alguien metio la pata y puso mi fecha de nacimiento mal en los papeles de la solicitud.
Cuando mi familia llego a darse cuenta del error, ya era tarde. Mis hermanas y yo teniamos cita en el consulado, y arreglar el equivoco podria retrasar el proceso.
El hombre que nos estaba acesorando con la solicitud recomendo que en vez de preparar los papeles de nuevo con mi fecha de nacimiento correcta, que era mas facil que consiguiera una acta de nacimiento que indicara la fecha que aparecia en el resto de los papeles. Con lo poca sofisticada que era la burocracia en ese entonces y la eterna corrupcion de aquellos a cargo del sistema, fue muy facil para mi papa conseguir una acta de nacimiento legalizada en una tarde a cambio de unos cuantos pesos por debajo de la mesa.
Desde ese entoces, he tenido dos cumpleanios todos los anios. Mi cumpleanio verdadero es el 19 de Abril. El falso, pero legal es el 15 de Noviembre.
No hay ningun papel (que yo sepa) que indique la fecha verdadera. Pero aun no me acostumbro a la idea de que tengo dos fechas para celebrar. Me gustaria mucho poder cambiar mi fecha de nacimiento a la correcta para asi cerrar este caso. Ya que soy ciudadano, casado, padre y duenio de propiedades seria muy dificil comenzar el proceso legal de cambiar la fecha. Cambiar de nombre es un proceso comun, pero cambiar de fecha seria mucho mas complicado
Una ventaja que encuentro en tener dos fechas es que cuando cumplo anios tengo unos 6 meses extra para acostumbrarme antes de que la fecha legal cambie. En lo que se refiere a celebracion, nunca hacemos fiesta, pero mi esposa simpre me compra un regalito o algo para marcar las dos fechas. Mi familia sin embargo, usa las dos fechas en mi contra. En Abril, me dicen que no me regalan nada porque esa no es mi fecha legal. En Noviembre, me dicen que esa no es la fecha verdadera. Me dicen "make up your mind, which is it going to be, you can't have two birthdays".
Maniana estamos a 19. Cumplo 32 anios de edad. That sucks!!
Pero en realidad no me puedo quejar de la vida, porque he logrado mas metas que mucha gente con el doble de mi edad. En lo que a material se refiere, tengo todo y hasta mas de lo que necesito. En lo personal, tengo mi preciosa familia y no hay conflictos con nadie que yo conosca. En lo espiritual, estoy muy bien porque se quien soy, cuales son mis intereses y mi moral es solida.
Si pudiera cambiar algo, con la garantia de que nada mas va a cambiar, seria poder tener a mi familia y amigos mas cerca de mi. Seria un maravilla poder ver a mis hermanas y amigos con mas frecuencia. Pero asi es la vida.

Generaciones vienen y van.

2006-04-13T22:25:00.000-07:00

No se si es porque vivo muy lejos de casi todos mis seres queridos, o si es porque me estoy poniendo viejo, pero mientras pasan los anios me encuentro mas y mas aniorando mi pasado y extraniando la simpleza del ayer.
Uno se pasa la niniez queriendo ser adulto para poder hacer lo que uno quiera. Luego uno crece y se da cuenta que uno en realidad no puede hacer lo que quiera porque todo tiene consecuencias.
Una cosa de la que no se habla cuando uno crece es que todo a tu alrededor tambien cambia. Esto incluye a tus seres queridos. Cada anio que pasa es un anio mas que has vivido y tistemente un anio menos que le queda a gente importante en tu vida como son tus abuelos y padres.
Nada en la vida es seguro, excepto la muerte y esto esta muy claro en la mente de mi abuelo. Aproveche mi visita a RD hace unas semanas para tomarme una foto con el. Luego de tomarnos esta foto me dijo: "Que bueno que nos tomamos esta foto, asi se la ensenias a tu hija despues que yo este muerto". No le dije nada, pero me dolio. Tarde o temprano el turno nos llegara a todos.

Espero que pase mucho pero mucho tiempo antes que pase lo inevitable.

I have never ...

2006-03-31T23:50:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I realized that I have never read a whole page in the bible. I also realized that there is a lot of other things I haven't done and I'm proud of. I'm not perfect, but for somebody who has lived in two big cities like New York and Las Vegas, I'd say I've done pretty well.

never done drugs
never blacked out drunk
never broken up with my now wife
never shoplifted/stolen money
never been arrested
never cheated
never been dumped
never hit a woman
never farted around friends
never gotten a tatto/piercing
never shot an animal
never gotten an STD
never bet on sports
never told anybody I hate them
never paid for sex

De vuelta

2006-03-30T13:42:00.000-08:00

No he podido blogear lately. Mi esposa no ha estado muy bien. Ya ha tenido 5 cambio de medicamento en menos de un mes. Hoy ha estado mucho mejor, so ya regresare por aqui mas tarde.

European Encounter

2006-03-22T14:21:00.000-08:00

Ya hace mas de nueve meses que regresamos de Europa. Puse algunas de mis fotos en Flikr pero se me perdio la direccion hasta ahora.
Paises que visitamos:
England
Belgium
Netherlands*
Germany
Austria
Italy*
Switzerland
France*

* = favorites

If you feel like it, check some out here.

A Few Of My Favorite Things

2006-03-12T21:47:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I contemplated making a list of the things that I hate or at least annoy me. Instead, I decided to channel my energy to the positive. So I made a list of the things I love or make me happy and don't necessarily cost me money. My goal was 25, but as the day went by I kept on thinking of more and more things. This is about appreciating the things in our lives.

To see good people succeed
Rain hitting my windows
Emails from friends
Baby animals
Old pictures
Naturally sweet coconut water
Not having bad debt
My father’s humor
Europe
Never having had acne
My daughter eating
Spring
A good piece of trivia
Being asked for advice
A song I can identify with
My moral values
Taking really good pictures
A good red wine
History
The word abundance
My garlic and tomato pasta recipe
Netflix
My dreams about fish
Looking at people’s collections
My wife’s cooking
My books from the 1700’s
Having a best friend for a long time
New white socks
Live fish
My 50 inch flat screen TV
Snow in Las Vegas
Wild flowers
Scotch & club soda with 3 ice cubes
All my tools
Watching my daughter sleep
New York style pizza
Trying to always be on time
Finishing things
My sister’s laughter
Beating my mom at a good card game
Being respected all my life
Dried cherries
Getting FedEx and UPS packages
The word serendipity
Feeling that the best is yet to come
Trees
Doing nice things for others
Big pomegranates
When people get me
Nitpicking movies
Having friends over
When new restaurants open nearby
Planning a trip
Having my cheeks hurt from laughing so much
Positive peer pressure
Going to the movies with friends
Learning something new
My definition of success
Picking fruits from a tree
Telling jokes while hiking
Lisa from the Simpsons
Being able to carry almost anything in my SUV
Deadline extensions
Getting comments on my blog
Frozen grapes
Knowing my dog doesn’t bark because he chooses not to
Online banking
My not-too-soft/not-too-hard pillow
Being told that I matter
A good foreign film on a Saturday night
The smell of apple cinnamon
A good risotto for two
My wireless connection
Singing along to Sweet Child O’ Mine
Sunday mornings

I challenge you to make a list of at least 25 things that don't necessarily involve money and make you happy. You may not copy more than 5 from my list. Espanol o Ingles is fine.

I wasn't going to do this, but I'm challenging:
Odisea Burbujas
Natalia
Burbuja Galactica
Bau
Angy (think hard)
Bracuta

T-R-I-V-I-A

2006-03-10T16:18:00.000-08:00

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word! GOLFentered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on primetime TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

CocaCola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a mediumsize dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades King David Hearts Charlemagne Clubs Alexander, the Great Diamonds Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has onefront leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person diedof natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signedon August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened,making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply hissoninlaw with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called thehoney month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

CURAMOS ELNIA, ESPATITE Y EL CANCER...

2006-03-06T13:16:00.000-08:00

Mientras visitaba a mi abuelo en un barrio de Santiago encontre esto en una esquina.
Me parecio gracioso que alguien que no sabe deletrear Ernia o Acido, pueda curar Cancer.
Soy mas ingenuo de lo que pensaba, ya que me tomo un tiempo realizar que son Infecciones...V LES. Pero mas ingenuo es aquel que se cree el cuento de que alguien que corta pelo a $50 pesos, tambien pueda curar algo mas serio que la gripe.

Mis Amores

2006-02-24T14:26:00.000-08:00

Muchisisimo Mejor

2006-02-17T20:46:00.000-08:00

La situacion a mejorado mucho. Mi esposa esta mucho mas estable, y con una medicina nueva que acaba de empezar a tomar se esta sintiendo casi tan bien como antes. Nada me da mas alegria que eso, pero para aun mas alegria, hace dos semanas pude convencer a mi jefa a que me dejara trabajar desde la casa de mi mama en Santiago. Asi es que ya tengo una samana aqui, y las cosas no han sido tan malas como esperaba. Ya tenia DSL desde antes de llegar.
En este viaje vine con la actitud diference. Vine pensando en que lo mas importante es pasar tiempo con mi ninita y mi esposa. Prometi no quejarme mucho de el pais y la gente, y mas importante prometi comer la comida que hace mi mama. No estoy aqui perdiendo tiempo con quejas del clima politico y social. En si, estoy aqui disfrutando de muy buena compania y jugando mucho domino y casino.
Nunca he cosiderado regresar a vivir en el pais, pero me alegra saber que si optara por eso, podriamos vivir muy comodamente con solo el interes ganado de todo el dinero que pondria en el banco.
Mi chiquitita es una personita genial. A pesar de que solo tiene dos anios y medio, es una de las personas mas interesante que conosco. Antes de llegar aqui hace siete semanas, solo hablaba un poco y no sabia hablar nada de espaniol. Ahora, solo hable en espaniol y no se limita a decir palabras, sino que formula opiniones, preguntas y comentarios. Esta cada dia mas linda.
Mis padres nos van a extraniar mucho cuando nos vayamos, ya que estan locamente enamorados de mi ninita y ella de ellos. Tambien disfrutan mucho de mi compania ya que hace unos dies anios que no vivimos juntos. Me tienen anioniado haciendo todo lo que se me antoje.
Hemos tenido que ver el psiquiatra tres veces en dos semanas, pero ahora mismo parece que encontramos la medicina que funciona. Hasta hace dos dias estabamos muy preocupados por ella. Su cuerpo estaba aqui, pero ella estaba ausente. La medicina la hacia caminar y actuar como un zombie. Ahora con medicamento nuevo esta alerta y sonriente.
Nada se siente tan bien como sentir que la vida esta regresando a normal. Esporo que no tenga otro episodio que eche a perder todo el progreso que ha hecho.

Si pudiera llevarme algo de aqui para Las Vegas, seria una cantidad sin limite de jugo de tamarindo.

La pesadilla que es ahora mi vida.

2006-01-30T22:46:00.000-08:00

Estoy en nota un poco negativa. Mi esposa estabe supuesta a regresar de santo domingo este viernes pasado. Tuve que cancelar su vuelo porque tuvo otro episodio de mania. Ahora esta donde mi mama siendo cuidada por ella y por su prima. He leido mucho acerca de la enfermedad en busca de buenas noticias de que todo va a estar bien, pero la noticia sigue siendo oscura.
Esta noche despues de mi clase de yoga fui a un support group local de depresion y bipolar disorder. Esperaba encontrar gente con la enfermedad que estan funcionando en sus vidas, pero no encontre a nadie que me pudiera aliviar el estado de desesperacion por el que estoy pasando.
Hace ya un mes que no veo a mi esposa y a mi nina. Estoy solo por completo y ahora mismo lo que mas me gustaria oir es que todo va a estar bien. Que ella se va a mejorar y vamos a poder seguir viviendo como antes.
He tenido que cambiar de dar y recibir una dozena de besos y abrazos todos los dias a un mes sin un beso o abrazo. Esta noche por suerte pude darle un abrazo a una senora gorda que me dijo que tenga fe y me aguante. Se me hace imposible poder hacer entender a alguien como se siente estar en mi situacion. No creo que nadie entiende como me consume la vida la insertidumbre de el futuro ahora que mi esposa esta tan enferma. Me siento solo en el sentimiento de soledad porque no he podido ver, besar, abrazar, acariciar, oler, sonreirle a mi hijita. Pero me alegro que ella esta tan pequena como para no saber nada de lo que esta pasando.
Mi esposa esta sufriendo de bipolar disorder desde hace tres meses. Ha tenido varios episodios de mania bien fuerte. A pesar de que las manias representan un gran deterioro mental, prefiero eso a que este sufriendo de depresion. segun doctores en Stanford University, personas con bipolar disorder tienen un 15% de suicidio. Esta estadistica me atormenta.
Lo daria todo por poder volver a sentirme como me sentia hace unos 6 meses.

Namaste

2006-01-19T11:02:00.000-08:00

Es interesante como uno puede sabotajearse (spl?) a si mismo. Estoy en una clase de Yoga por segunda vez porque la primera tuve que dejar. El proposito de asistir es darle a mi cuerpo el chance de mejorarse atravez de estos ejercicios y meditacion. De que funcionan, funcionan, porque los diaz siguiente simpre me siento bien. Pero anoche me encontre sabotajeando la sesion. Mientras estaba supuesto a meditar, me la pase haciendo una lista de cosas que tengo que ir a comprar en el supermercado.
Cronologicamente, mi cuerpo solo tiene 31 anios. Pero basado en mi salud es mas o menos 60 anios. Uno de mis mas agitadores problemas medicos es mi espalda baja. Tengo dos discos herniados, una extruccion, estenosis y desgasto de ligamento. Hasta ahora he recibido tratamiento desde acupuntura y terapia fisica, hasta injecciones de esteroides que cuestan $6500 dolares cada una.
Ultimamente he estado leyendo sobre una operacion que conciste de una fusion de dos vertebras con 4 tornillos y 2 barillas de titanio. Convierten dos huesos en uno, lo que significa rotacion limitada de la cintura por el resto de tu vida. El esposo de una amiga se hizo la operacion hace 8 anios y me dicen que esta muy bien.
La posibilidad de que un dia pueda vivir sin dolor de espalda me alegra mucho, pero la verdad es que la operacion es muy fuerte.
Ademas de operarme los huesos malos, tienen que arrancarme un pedazo del pelvis para usar pedacitos de hueso en el area de la operacion. Estos pedacitos crecen y se convierten en un hueso nuevo.
La pregunta que queda es cuanto de la operacion sera cubierta por mi aseguranza medica. La operacion cuesta casi $80,000 dolares y tengo que cuidar como camino por mas de 12 semanas, porque sino, me jodo para siempre.
Por ahora, creo que el yoga me esta ayudando un poco.

mil pensamientos

2006-01-06T10:08:00.000-08:00

Que maldita soledad. Que maldita ansiedad. No se que voy a hacer conmigo mismo. Faltan 21 dias para que mi esposa y mi nina vuelvan a mi. Me hacen tanta falta que mi vida tiene poco sentido sin ellas.
La soledad me esta comiendo vivo y no se que hacer. Tengo que hacer un plan de accion para como utilizar este tiempo en que estoy solo. Necesito mantenerme ocupado en vez de preocupado. Ya se que quiero limpiar la casa, organizar el garage y limpiar los carros, pero no tengo ganas de nada porque todo me trae memorias de ellas.
Ya estoy harto de la ansiedad. Me la paso pensando en mil y una cosa por minuto. Ninguna tiene sentido o consecuencia, y me fastidio a mi mismo porque constantemente me digo que pare de pensar. Me gustaria poder enfocarme en algo especifico y util para asi distraerme, pero no lo consigo.
Creo que si yo tubiera una garantia de que mi esposa ya esta bien, y que todo lo que ha pasado paso, me podria relajar. Me la paso piendole a Dios que me ayude. Que me calme esta miseria mental en la que estoy viviendo y le doy gracias porque en fin las cosas estan mejor que como estaban hace unas semanas. Pero nada me consuela el alma.
Anoche me tome dos pastillas para dormir y finalmente pude descansar un poco, pero desde el segundo en que desperte ya estaba mi ansiedad jodiendome la existensia. No se si trabajar en casa es una ventaja o desventaja porque me gustaria tener compania para no sentierme solo, pero al mismo tiempo no podria acostarme a hacer nada cuando quiero.
Lo que mas me atormenta es el no saber si cuando mi esposa regrese va a estar bien y va a poder funcionar normalmente, o si todo va a estar caotico otra vez. Ahora que ella esta tomando medicamento, mi sentido comun me dice que ella va a estar bien, pero el terror de todo lo que he tenido que vivir, todo el dolor y trauma que he sufrido no me permiten ver la posibilidad de que ya lo peor paso.
Nuestras vidas eran tan perfectas por tanto tiempo. Nada malo nunca nos pasaba. Yo siempre me preocupaba por eso porque pensaba que no somos exemptos de que nada malo nos pase y que algun dia algo pasara y sera bien malo. Bueno, yo estaba correcto.
Ahora estoy viviendo en la calma despues de la tormenta, pero no se si viene mas lluvia o no. Creo que deberia estar pensando en lo positivo. Aqui no recibimos ninguna atencion medica. Toda la frustracion fue en vano. Pero alla la atendieron. Le dieron un tratamiento que la mejoro rapido y ya hace una samana y no ha actuado raro otra vez. Asi es que todo va a estar mejor.

Dear Santa...

2005-12-11T14:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I'm 31 years old and I had never written to you before. The reason why I never wrote is because my parents didn't want me to believe in you. They only wanted me to believe in God. I've been praying to Him and nothing has happened. Maybe you can help.
I don't want a new car. I don't want a new house. I don't want a vacation. I don't want a new Ipod. I don't want a video game. I don't even want my spine, cholesterol, liver or pancrea to get better. You see, there is only one thing I want. I want my my family to be the way it was a few months ago. I want my wife to get better.
My wife is suffering from some kind of psychotic disorder right now. I don't know when she will get better, but I hope it's soon. I want to know what exactly is wrong with her so that I can better help her and be able work again.
This year I am really believing in you, in God, in miracles. I'm believing in anything I can get my hands on.
I just don't want to lose hope.

breakdown

2005-12-09T09:44:00.000-08:00

I had a great, beautiful, loving family. My wife was the most amazing person I have ever known. My baby is the most incredible child there is. I thank God everyday for all the blessings. When I enrolled in LV59 leadership I expected to fine tune my leadership skills in a motivational and roll-playing type of scenario. I anticipated taking turns running meetings and reading mock speeches to improve public speaking, among other things.
It's needless to say that the first weekend a leadership was a total disappointment. Never before had I being pressured so much to sell anything and made feel so inadeccuate about my ability to communicate with my friends and family. The pressure was so strong that I decided to take the path of least resistance and enrolled my wife against her will. I honestly didn't think she needed any training and neither did she, but I just wanted to get the coaches off my back. In the days prior to LV60 my wife wanted to get out of it, but I told her I had already paid and there was no refund.
She went to Vision and was happy because she had met some really nice people there.
On the Friday that followed my wife got up and left the house at 3AM for a walk because she had a revelation from God and Judith the trainer. According to the revelation, she was to spread the word of peace, love and free will. She was supposed to put herself in the shoes of everybody she saw. She returned home and wrote a number of pages about what was happening before heading off to school (she was a full-time student). While at school something happened. She became agitated. She lost her mind. She was taken out of the classroom and into a backroom to try to control her, but she went outside. She climbed a wall and started preaching out loud. She kept on using words such as: free will, aknowledge, I declare my intension, I will source the world, you show up to me as.... These are clearly all ChoiceCenter words. She said she is the angel of love and when I arrived there after the school called me to go get her, I was the angel of judgement. She said we are a good couple because of that. She said "love eachother, stop judging, stop being mean, God doesn't want perfection, he wants us to love eachother, I declare my intention to tell you what you all need to be happy, etc, etc". She was franctically screaming all these, so 911 was called. I couldn't control her and get her to be quiet. The police arrived and they too tried to calm her down but she kept saying "go away, you are in the drift".
The police decided it would be best if she sat in a police car while the ambulance arrived. She was put in handcuffs. Four police officers tried to force her into the car, but she was kicking and screaming. While kicking, a female officer got in front of her to try and hold her legs, but she kicked that officer in the chest and the officer fell down. Using brutal force they got her into the police car. Now, instead of waiting for an ambulance, she was being arrested and charged with resisting arrest and assult and battery on a police officer. This all happened at about 1PM. It was an hour before the Henderson Detention Center told me that bail would be $1,700. I went to the bank and got the money to go post bail. The sargeant told me she could not be released back to me because she was still preaching and it wouldn't be safe. I was told that I needed to post bail so that a doctor could see her. I was told that an ambulance would come and transport her to a hospital shortly. These all happened at 2:30pm. I was told to go home and call every hour to see when and where she was taken. I called every hour and could hear in the background her screaming for peace and love. It wasn't until about 10:30PM, 8 hours later, that she was taken to the hospital.
I couldn't go see her until the next morning at 6AM. I found my beautiful wife looking like a corpse, with her legs and hands tied to the hospital bed. She had been sedated so that they could do cat-scans, spinal tap blood work and other stuff. They found nothing medically wrong with her. No drugs of course.
My beautiful, loving wife didn't know who I was. When I asked her what year it was, she said it was 1905. I asked her if she had a baby and she said she didn't know. I asked her for her social security number and she started singing ABC's. Later, she didn't remember anything that happened that day. I never left her side until she started coming back. By Sunday afternoon she was doing well enough that instead of holding her until there was an open spot at a mental hospital, they released her to me. I nursed her until she seemed to be completely okay.
We did followups with doctors, counselors, priests, etc. They all agreed on one thing. This was all brought on by the ChoiceCenter experience. She had early childhood trauma of losing her mother and feeling abandonment issues, she had suppressed everything but Vision had brought it all out and her brain didn't know how to handle it.
She had been given two court dates for the police charges, so we paid a lawyer $3000 to help us.
For a couple of weeks she seemed to be doing okay. This Monday she had another breakdown. This time was different. She was calm, but she was gone. Monday morning I walked around the house and asked her why there were more than 30 lightbulbs on during the day. She said we needed them on for the coming of the Lord. She is obsessed with praying. She calls me by all kinds of male names but my own. She is terrified by anything purple, and is obsessed with washing her hands. Sometimes she stands on a table and starts dancing and making up songs. Sometimes, she has outbursts and mixes trivial things that happened in the past with long random numbers. The first day I noticed her change I took her to the emergency room, but she was released because there was nothing they could do. That night was more than surreal. I had to shot off the water to the whole house remove some lightbulbs, hide everything sharp and later to be safe that nothing happened I had to put a chain and lock in our bedroom door so that she didn't wander off in the middle of the night if I fell asleep. Our daughter has been staying with my wife's sister. The next morning we went to see a doctor. She prescribed the strongest anti-psychotic medication she could find. My wife is now sleeping through the night, but she is still gone. I don't know what it's going to take to make her better. I don't know how long it will be before she starts coming back. We are seen a new psychiatrist next week, so I hope he can help us.
Right now I am scared like never before. I have lost my wife, my family, my joy. I've stopped working because I can't leave her alone for two minutes before she starts doing things. My wife never got sick before, not even a common cold. For this reason and because insurance it too expensive through my job I had her uninsured to save some money. Up to now, the medical expenses stand at nearly $20,000 and counting. I will have to pay for this out of packet, somehow.
I don't know if she will ever get better. I don't know where I will find the strength to go on. I am scared of what the future has in store for us. It breaks my heart to even look at my daughter. I don't know if I'll eventually loose my job because of my absence.
One thing I do know is that I can't stop blaming myself for all of these. This is undeniably all my fault and I have to live with it.
I just hope that others that enroll friends and family in LV's to come do not have their lives "transformed" the way mine has.

Lo que ha pasado

2005-12-01T10:17:00.000-08:00

Hace un tiempo que no escribo porque no tenia nada bueno que decir. Pense que dejando lo que paso en el pasado my iba a hacer bien. Pero eso era mentira.
Ahora no me queda mas que hablar. Este es mi primer post en espanol.
Hace casi dos meses fui a un seminario. se llamaba "efectividad personal". Estaba dividido en dos: vision y avance importante (breakthrough). En la primera parte, la cual dura cinco dias, se habla de tu pasado, de tu ninez, de relaciones pasadas que te han hecho la persona que eres hoy. Te hace confrontar ese pasado y resolver cosa pendientes que te quedan en el pecho. Mi problema era mi relacion con mis padres y como me trataban cuando era nino. Le tenia recentimiento a mi papa por su abuso fisico y mental. Y a mi mama por no defenderme ante el maltrato de mi papa.
La segunda parte (dura cuatro dias)se trataba de como uno debe enfrentar el mundo, que uno es importante y puede haver la diferencia.
Basicamente, el programa trata de mirar quien eres, de desbarata y finalmente te hace de nuevo, pero con mas autoestima, poder y amor por la vida.
Me gusto tanto, que pense que todo mi mundo y el resto de mi vida iba a cambiar o mas bien mejorar. Yo queria que mi esposa tuviera la misma experiencia que yo tuve. Ella no queria ir, pero yo page por su inscripcion. Otro cargo de $1600 dolares en mi American Express. Ella no queria ir porque no lo necesitaba. Ella ya era una persona feliz. Pero yo pense que ella tenia que resolver lo de la muerte de su madre.
Como siempre, ella hace las cosas por complacerme, y fue. El domingo en la noche cuando fui a la graduacion de la primera parte, me dio las gracias por insistir en que ella fuera. Me dijo que es el mejor regalo que ha recibido en toda su vida. estaba ten feliz.
El siguiente Viernes me llamaron de su escula. Me pidieron que la fuera a buscar porque no estaba bien. Cuando llegue la encontre detras de la escuela. Habia tenido un colapso nervioso. Estaba loca. Llamaron 911 para que viniera una ambulancia, pero la policia contesto primero y llego al lugar. Trataron de hacer que se sentara en el carro de la policia para esperar la ambulancia. Ella se resistio y le dio una patada a una mujer policia. En vez ir al hospital, fue a la carcel. Nueve horas despues de ser arrestada una ambulancia la transporto a un hospital. En el hospital le chequearon todo y no encontraron nada malo en ella. Todo era mental. Se mejoro, y despues de un par de dias nos fuimos a la casa. Decidimos que no volveria a la escuela por unos meses.
Ahora tenemos dos casos en corte judicial y municipal. Tambien tenemos una cuenta medica de mas de 12,000 dollares.
Si yo no hubiera hecho que ella fuera a ese seminario nada de esto hubiera pasado.

FINALLY..

2005-10-22T18:59:00.000-07:00

Last night I was alone downstairs when a strange feeling hit me. It was the realization that I am at peace with myself. I am comfortable in my skin. For the first time ever, I truly liked who I am, not because of the things I have or what I have achieved, but because I am me.

I Don't need no Skool

2005-09-10T21:15:00.000-07:00

This week I went to a mortgage class. I was only two days, but totaled 16 hours. It was a small group, but despite the size, it had the components of pretty much every classroom.
There were just seven of us, but there was a know-it-all with the constant urge to help the instructor and thereby show off what she knew.
The was the idiot that had to have everything over-explained and over-simplified before she could get the simplest of points. Funny thing is that this person was a teacher for 15 years.
Then there was the antagonizer who disagreed with everything that was said including the sum of a few numbers.
There was a teacher's pet who was there to help with everything imaginable and be the apple of the instructors eyes.
And lastly, there was me. The shy one who never talked. It's not that I'm shy, it's just that I didn't like being there.
And now about the instructor: The guy was born and raised in LA. Both his parents are mexican and he looks like he crossed the border last week. The dude seems to be proud of not speaking spanish and even brags about how his white friend has to translate for him when somebody says something in spanish. What an idiot. I'd be embarrassed if I were him. I'm proud to be fluent in two languages, and wouldn't want it any other way.

My Week

2005-08-26T19:19:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago I went out with some people from my mortgage team. The idea wasn't to talk about mortgages, but to get to know each other and have fun. They call it The Wealth Builder Night Out. We went to a new cuban restaurant in the area. I had such a good time, I'm looking forward to the next outing.
The food was great, but the service sucked, but that's alright. There were only nine of us, and it's funny to see how some people get drunk so easily. This woman and her husband had about four drinks each, and they were acting like total fools. I had five mojitos and barely caught a buzz that lasted five minutes. I'm not a big drinker, so I guess my drinking a glass every night has helped build my tolerance for alcohol.
This morning I went to my doctor to hear the results from my blood work from earlier this week. I should't be pissed about the results, since I should have known how I'd come out. I have cut down my sugar consumptions, so my blood sugar is not low, but not too bad. My liver enzymes are still high but stable and my cholesterol has more than double from last time. The reason for all these is my lack of exercise.
I know I've got to get my ass in gear, but I just don't know how to get started. I wish I liked sweating.

Where did it go?

2005-08-22T21:33:00.000-07:00

What the hell kind of summer was this? I know it's not over yet, but what has happened to the rest of it. For what it's worth, what has happened to this year? It feels like the older I get, the faster the years go by and I don't like it. I remember when I was a kid that it was an eternity between Christmases.
To make things worse, my wife found my first gray hair yesterday. I don't mean to be shallow, but it was kind of traumatic. I'm officially getting old, and there are so many things I have yet to do.
I don't know if it is that I'm naturally boring, or if it is that I've spend too much of my youth worrying and preparing for when I get old. But what I need to do is chill out and enjoy life a little more. You would think that I've learned my lesson by now, but I haven't. I live with regrets for the so many things I didn't do while in high school and college. At this rate, 10 years from now I will be living with regrets over the things I should be doing now but I'm not.
I'm always talking about how one should lead life with balance, but in reality there is little balance in my life. While others are enjoying music and Harry Potter, I'm reading the Millionaire Next Door and listening to Anthony Robbins.
I really've got to get it together for these days won't last for ever. I think I'm like a squirrel collecting nuts for the winter.

Decisions, Decisions

2005-08-18T14:35:00.000-07:00

A few years ago we were awaken in the middle of the night by the whole house shaking. Turns out there was an earthquake in California and was felt all the way in Las Vegas. What are bizzard experience. A big house and everything in it shook like a cardboard box. We jumped out of bed wondering if it was the end of the world for a second. Even my sisters called the next day to see if we were okay.
Anyways, a few weeks went by when one morning my bed starts to move while I'm trying to sleep. I jumped out of bed and said "Holy crap, its happening again!!!" Only then I realized that the cause for the shakes was my wife sitting on the bed while trying to find a show under the bed. Did I feel stupid? sure I did.
Now something new and bigger is trying to shake my world. I am debating whether to quit my job, ask to be part-time or take a leave of absence if possible to see if things work out.
My father in law has cancer and has a 40% chance to live for another couple of years. So, he selling me his business since he won't be able to handle it anymore. The problem is that I don't like the terms of the sale and I would have to spend a lot of money and energy to make it more profitable. This is a big risk because I'm compromising my job security. I don't love my job, but I've been doing it for 5 years and it pays very well. It scares me to risk losing it, because if I do, I won't be able to get it back.
My wife goes to school and doesn't work. And even though we have savings and can fine with both of us out of work for a while, I don't want to compromise the money and therefore our future plans.
So the questions I keep asking myself are: Am I prepare to change my life and risk failure? Do I have what it takes to succeed? I always say that if it ain't broken don't fix it, but I'm not sure about that right now. Maybe when I sit down and discuss new terms of sale I will be more excited about this whole situation.

Speak Up!

2005-08-09T16:03:00.000-07:00

It's funny how the more I want to say, the less that comes out. Where do I start? My father-in-law went to the Mayo Clinic hoping to hear better news from better doctors. After everything was said and done, the news is worse than expected. The cancer has progressed more than thought and he may have even less time to live. His wife is devastated. This really sucks.
On another note, I'm having a terrible day at work. There's nothing worse than having to deal with assholes who don't listen and then accuse you of thing. While my boss (who didn't really know what happened) is telling me off about how I need to deal with people, I just kept breathing in and out while considering my options. Fight or Flight, I fought, but not as much as i wanted to.
I have enough money not to have to work for several years. I guess this comfort has trigged something in me. I don't want to call it arrogance, because that's not who I am, but when my boss aggravates me, I just want to tell her to fuck off and shove the job you know where.
I like people, in fact I miss people most of the time. But there are times when I just want to lose it and reach through the phone and grab their necks and shoke them. Today was one of those days.
Tomorrow will be a new, hopefully better day.

It Hit Home

2005-08-01T21:54:00.000-07:00

Bad stuff happens everyday and none of us is exempt from it happening to us or those we love. But it isn't until it hits home that we realize how terrible life can be. We read or hear the news about accidents, deaths and other calamities and don't give it much thought about how lives are impacted.
My father-in-law was recently diagnosed with skin cancer. He had a toe amputated, but it turns out that the cancer has spread. Tonight I found out that he is in stage 5. The last stage. This means that he only has a couple of years left.
We all have to die somehow sooner or later, but way can't it be much later. He is only in his fifties and has a 5 and a 2 year old. The kids financial future is secured, but it's frustrating that his millions can't buy him more time.
This is a sad situation and is giving me stress. I am the only other man in the family and it will fall on me to care for an protect the family. This is a major load I am not looking foward to taking. Their finances and being their father figure are not something to be taken lightly.
On another note, I also feel guilt-ridden because there is talk of him selling me his company at some point. This represents a great opportunity for me, but given the circumstances I'm not supposed to be happy about this, so I don't know how to handle the prospect.
I wish this whole thing wasn't happening, period. I already have my own business plans.

What is a ciguapa

2005-07-28T14:23:00.001-07:00

Angy wrote on her blog about the mythical Cuco our parents told us about back in the DR. I brought up La Ciguapa, and to my amazement some people have never heard of it.

Here is the description I found online:

According to Dominican Republic's popular myths, Ciguapas are strange wild women that inhabit the local mountains and have magical powers.
The legends of this mysterious female precense go back to the earlier days of the local Taino natives. They allegedly have dark tanned skin and long, soft hair, so long it is supposed to be the only thing they need to cover their bodies with.
Depending on the particular region, the Ciguapas are supposed to be either small entities, or be taller with very thing and long legs, to have their feet backwards (to help elude their pursuers), or be completely covered by soft hair, or completely covered by feathers, or to live underwater.

Besides el Cuco and now la Ciguapa, which other mythical creature do you know of in DR?

Long-Time-No-Write

2005-07-27T15:31:00.000-07:00

Wow, I haven't written in a whole month. I've wanted too, but things have been a bit crazy. I recently bought another house and I've been getting it ready for move-in this weekend.
I had a great time with my friends on my trip back East. We didn't get to fish as I had hoped, but we hiked 3 Mountains in two states. Here are some pictures.
I' ve taken three vacations this year, and I am about ready for another one. Variety is the spice of life. I don't love stress, but I can't imagine my life without it. In a way, it is what keeps me going. I don't know how some people live carefree without worries and anxieties, they say you live longer that way, but what's the point. Most people see stress as a negative thing, but I see it as a sign that I'm alive and things are happening.
I'm always in the pursue of something new because inactivity depresses me, and we don't want that. I just ordered 6 new books relating to my new business venture. I'm selling 3 houses, have a full time job, I'm training on two new 3D imaging appliations I know nothing about, I'm becoming a mortgage lender, I'm packing and moving to a new house, I now have 8 mortgages and a baby.
These may seem like a lot, but I wish there was more. It's great knowing that I'm not stuck in the same old thing day in day out.
Anyways, I haven't been writing on anybody's blog and I miss that. It's a good distraction. I recently realized that I've been spending too much energy on the negative and I don't like it. So, whenever anything negative pops into my head I force myself to think positive. It's working great. Bad things that I can't control will always happen, but what I can change is the way I'm reacting to them. Now instead of feeling bad, I'm getting things done.
It feels great.

Commune with Nature and Friends

2005-06-29T13:56:00.000-07:00

My best friend and I had a tradition of going to another friend's house every year in Massachussetts. Since I moved away from NY to NV 6 years ago, we haven't made that trip.
Well this year it will happen again. I am leaving tomorrow night on an overnight flight back east. We'll drive from NY to MA and probably New Hampshire. I am so excited!!. I will finally go hiking, which is something I love but haven't done in 3 years. My health is not great, but after walking from the Roman Colisseum to Vatican City in like 20 minutes a few weeks ago, I think I can handle Mt. Washington.
And at long last, we will do some lake fishing, another thing I love have haven't done in ages. I dream about fish or fishing on a regular basis, I don't know why or what it means, but I'm sure I'll enjoy myself.
I'm sure we'll have a blast hablando basura like we used to do in high school and college. I really need this, but it's too bad it's only for 5 days.
I don't know what will happen between now and next year, but I'm already looking forward to driving down to Key West, going deep sea fishing and getting drunk.
Life is short. Let me enjoy it.

Where would I be today

2005-06-27T16:20:00.000-07:00

I left DR 18 years ago. Having lived in the US most of my life, I have fully assimilated the american way of life. Most of my friends are americans. I think in english most of the time. I eat, drink, talk and sleep american. In fact I am considered quite successful by american standards.
I am an american citizen. Still, I am not really an american, although some might question that. I remain, like it or not, dominican. My childhood was dominican. Sometimes I wonder what would be of me had I not migrated to the US. My family wasn't poor, but it wasn't rich either. Nunca nos falto nada, we even had maids. So I guess we were comfortable.
But where would I be today, had I never left DR? I will never know that, but I'm sure I'd be a different person. My mother always encouraged my sisters and me to educate ourselves. Both my parents instilled religion and morality by words and deeds. But who would grown up Henry be today?
DR has changed so much in all these years, that it's sad to think that the fun memories of my childhood are nothing but history that cannot be repeated. Customs have changed, people changed, the economy has changed, the whole dominican culture is not the same. Unfortunaly, change is not always for the better.
All these factors considered, I know I would be someone completely different. After all, aren't we all products of our environment? The real question is: would I be a better or worse person today? I guess i can only wonder.

Life is short

2005-06-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how as we get older the years just pass so much faster. I remember when I was a kid how Christmas took an eternity to arrive. Now that I'm older I understand what they mean when they say life is short. It feels like Christmas was just a few weeks ago but half the year is already gone.
We really need to learn to appreciate the time we have here, because that time is very brief. So why do we waste so much energy on the little insignificant things that bother us.
My father in law was recently told he had cancer in of all places a big toe. This is a man with financial wealth, but obviously always unhappy. It took for him to hear that he might have a limited time left for him to realize that he was merely existing, not really living.
His toe had to be cut off and doctors are hoping that he'll be okay. Now, he's planning to take the family to Europe next year. This is something he's never done before, not because of lack of money, but because he didn't want to spend it. I guess now he knows what's more important.
But why did something bad had to happen for him to understand that.
I guess it's better late than never.

Delta Means Change

2005-06-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

In economics, a triangle is read as delta the fourth letter of the Greek alphabet. It represents change in an equation. I don't like delta. I don't deal with delta too well. Change to me usually means a venture into the unknown, which is scary.
I'm not leaving my job, but I am going to try something new I think I will enjoy. I am embarking in a new career at least part-time for now. I am excited but very scared. I enjoy real estate dealings very much, and this has something to do with it.
Today I went to the sherif's office and got my fingerprints. Having a criminal background check is a requirement to become a LOAN OFFICER. El que no tiene hecha, no tiene sospecha. It felt great going there knowing that they won't find anything on me. Well, except for a parking ticket.
This new career will put me in front of people, discussing their finances and being able to help them be part of the american dream we know as home ownership. I don't have many referral people, but I think the ones I have are pretty good.
I'm scared, but excited!!

I FEEL LIKE A PROSTITUTE

2005-06-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

I work from home, which is something most people wish they could say. It's a pretty sweet deal. I don't have to get up early, shower and fight traffic to get to the office. I don't have to shave all the time and take clothe to the dry cleaners. I don't have to deal with office politics, gossip and anyone looking over my shoulder everyday.
On the other hand, I'm always stuck at home. I don't get to punch out and leave work at the end of the day. I don't have any coworkers to share with. I don't have office parties or get to talk about stuff I saw on TV or heard on the radio.
Five years have gone by and I haven't stopped feeling lonely. Life is short and 5 years is a pretty long time. The thing is, the money is great. I make more money than most people I know, and I'm sure if I leave this job I won't be able to find another that pays nearly as much.
I don't completely hate my job for the reasons mentioned, but I feel it is taking a toll on me. I have gained weight and have a bunch of medical complications including suffering from depression which I'm sure is caused by my lack of social interaction.
I know there are things I could do to alleviate this, but they are just not me. I can't go to church hoping to socialize. I don't care for sports or drinking at a bar. So how the hell I'm I supposed to meet people.
I feel like a prostitute because I'm selling myself for money and I don't like what it's doing to me.

A Considerate Tattoo...

2005-06-16T12:57:00.000-07:00

Fred gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, "Where in thehell have you been?"

Fred replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head indisdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar billtattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And lastly,instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want..."

How do you feel about this?

2005-06-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

I'm wearing a t-shirt I brought from Florence with a sketch by daVinci. Ever since I put it on I keep repeating a quote by daVinci that I heard a few years ago. It goes like this: "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who endowed us sense, reason and intellect intended to forgo their use". I believe in God, but I hate people who don't question Him and the world. I think as human beings it's our nature to question everything, so why don't some people question him.

80 THINGS ABOUT ME

2005-06-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

1. I have two birthdays
2. My family pronounces my name wrong
3. I have to crack my neck several times a day
4. I finished high school in three years
5. I live in Vegas and don’t know how to play poker, baccarat, craps or roulette
6. I’ve met Michael Jackson’s father
7. The President of the Dominican Republic attended my high school
8. My college yearbook says I have a Masters in Economics not a BA
9. I have never ever done any kind of illegal drugs.
10. I have only gotten drunk three times in my life
11. I became a wine lover after watching the movie Sideways
12. I have worked from home for five years
13. I hate stupid and narrow-minded people
14. I have no problem with people being gay as long as I’m not affected by it
15. I am catholic but have questioned God’s existence many times
16. I love tropical fruits such as guava, passion fruit and mango
17. I was physically abused on a regular basis until age 14
18. I still resent my father for it
19. I watch Oprah and The Golden Girls all the time
20. I hate scary movies
21. I have talked with Harrison Ford
22. I think it’s important to have a gun but I’m too scared to own one
23. I was told I had skin cancer when I didn’t
24. I have never cheated
25. I never want to live in New York again
26. I planned on moving to Atlanta but found that racism is very much alive there
27. I have gained 50 pounds in the last five years
28. I have back problems, liver problems, skin problems and head problems
29. I owe more than a million dollars in real estate
30. I have no credit card or car debt
31. Everyday I think about friends I left behind six years ago
32. I have no criminal record
33. I’m sorry that my soul is not as clean as it used to be
34. I have become very critical of people who do wrong in my eyes. I don’t like it
35. I used to be a procrastinator. I still am some times
36. I once was setup and accused of robbery when I wasn’t even there
37. I dream about fish or fishing on a regular basis
38. I collect books from the 1700’s
39. I once had a hermaphrodite piglet
40. I’m convinced I won’t live to age 65 due to health
41. I once pretended I was wheelchair bound at an airport
42. I joined the army but backed out at the last minute
43. I can’t tolerate noisy music
44. As a teen I went through classical and country music phases
45. I don’t have any tattoos or piercing
46. I trained to be an auxiliary police officer
47. I unsuccessfully started my own business at 18
48. I call my parents mami and papi
49. I go to a depression support group to feel better after listening to others feel worse
50. I swam with dolphins
51. I can’t drink coffee
52. I can’t stand Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie, Pam Anderson or Jennifer Lopez
53. I think Bush is causing the US permanent damage
54. I envy people who have many good friends
55. I was voted most likely to succeed in high school
56. I have been to twelve different countries
57. I played volleyball and bowling in high school, badly but I played
58. I buy books all the time but never read them completely
59. I have no faith in politicians, salespeople or celebrities
60. I hate people who steal or harm children
61. I hate Reggaeton music
62. I have been a teacher
63. I have been a vegetarian
64. If I have a son I will name him Henry
65. I’m a nomad. I have moved 6 times in less than 6 years
66. I hate women with large fake boobs
67. I have no respect for people who enjoy wrestling
68. Learning to drive stick shift has been in my new years resolutions several years
69. I think Faith Hill and Nicole Kidman are two of the most beautiful women
70. I have a tenant who used to be a mermaid
71. I have two older sisters who I wish lived closer to me
72. I am an organ donor
73. I made two slices of my right index finger with a ham slicing machine
74. If I had three wishes come true, I’d ask for: health, money and 3 more wishes
75. I once took photos that put gang members in jail
76. My relationship with my best friend changed after arguments at the Grand Canyon
77. I have never seen Gone with the Wind or Casa Blanca
78. My doctor says I’m pretty close to getting diabetes
79. I lived in NYC for 13 years and never went to the Statue of Liberty
80. I never had a teddy bear as a child